


One more time, one more chance.

by Devian



Series: Pure angst. [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Porn, Comfort/Angst, F/M, First Love, Friendship/Love, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Multi, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Lives, Past Relationship(s), Romantic Soulmates, give me ONE CHANCE?, not really but they believe in it, you'll understand if you read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-02-15
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:11:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Devian/pseuds/Devian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We kissed, and in that perfect moment we knew that we wouldn't last.<br/>We wouldn't see the next fall, and we wouldn't see each other anymore.<br/><em>My heart loves you. Only you. Forever</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	One more time, one more chance.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [5 centimeters per second](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/169609) by Makoto Shinkai. 



> I'm trembling of excitement as I write this.  
> I had to, I am obliged to.  
> I'm going to do it so bad but I HAD TO.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > We kissed, and in that perfect moment we knew that we wouldn't last.  
> We wouldn't see the next fall, and we wouldn't see each other anymore.  
>  _My heart loves you. Only you. Forever_  
> 

**Alice Kuroda and Oikawa Tooru.**

They knew they were meant for each other the moment they looked at each other eyes, no kidding. Maybe both were only 15, but they knew in a moment they had to be together. It was no coincidence she was to sit down behind him, on the last row, they thought. _Why?_ Because they were soulmates.

But not in that way.

They didn't feel their hearts fluttering around; the colors weren't brighter, their wrists didn't burn. 

It was just a connection they felt instantly.

Suddenly, they were pulled together by the inevitable attraction of the red string and both of them accepted it.

* * *

Oikawa as a boy was shy. Hard to imagine, huh? Well, he was brought up in a cozy environment protected by his best friend and parents. The kid didn't know what meagerness was, he didn't need to. Maybe he was naive sometimes but he was just a kid, a teenage boy as time passed, and suddenly, an adult.

Stuff happened, and he suddenly found himself as the support of the family at the age of thirteen. The step he was forced to take was impossible for his simple-hearted mind to take in a second. Oikawa Tooru was lost, and he couldn't rely on his family anymore. Was Hajime even an option? He didn't need to think because his friend was there for whatever he needed to, but pressure became too hard. 

By that same time, thirteen years he was, he started kissing some girls who he knew from matches. Oh, did he forget to mention he was a complete volleyball lover? Oikawa felt at ease when his hand collide with the plastic rounded-shaped sphere. He liked it, the sound it made; he liked how the efforts were seen on each match, on each practice. But Tooru was in total love with the way the ball crashed into the floor. The sound was like a  _smack_ to the ground, and almost everyone feared his serve. He had been practising with his best friend almost all of his life and it was worth it: It was always with Iwaizumi, the only person he trusted.

But apart from volleyball he was empty. Totally and utterly lost; but he had to be strong if he wanted to be the best of the world. He couldn't be a  _hindrance_ to his team. After all, he was  _to be the captain._  Sure he had some girls to fill him up, he knew how to take advantage of his looks and his adorable face, but was it good, did it mean anything? No, he always turned down confessions and felt bad, but he couldn't do anything else. It wasn't his fault to be  _pretty_ , or to be that  _irresistible._ The teenager had enough problems in his own house to deal with the problems of other girls: _Let's go out!_ , what a pain in the ass, he would gladly preferred to practice;  _Buy me this!_ , he could invert it on better things than some stupid stuff to some stupid girl;  _Pay me attention!_ Shut the fuck up.

 By his fourteenth birthday he could only imagine a perfect life with Hajime and his team playing volleyball, going out on dates – more like _one day fuck_ dates – and progressively, becoming the captain of his own team. He knew he could perfectly make it of he wanted to; what did he need the support of his family for? Nothing, Tooru had everything planned. 

  He was going to win.

* * *

 When she looked at him he felt something very different from the aura he normally perceived from others.

  Being honest, the only person who he really felt comfortable with, because he was clean, was pure and knew every little thing about, was Hajime Iwaizumi. 

 But she was a complete open book in blank. Her aura was strong, but Oikawa couldn't make a _draft of her,_ like he normally did with everyone. 

  He tried looking at her at different angles, which only got from her a small smile.

  Wait, _was it for him?_

 Tooru quickly averted his eyes and immediately reprimanded himself. Why did he do that?! Oh, he felt so embarrassed. 

  " My name is Alice Kuroda, I like to read, sing and play. " She shyly introduced herself after being insisted by the teacher twice. Oikawa didn't understand what made him so terribly interested in her, was it his tanned skin? Her long and dark locks of hair? Yeah, it could definitively be the way the glasses fitted into her face. Was her name Alice?

  " Hah, like Alice in Wonderland " It unconsciously escaped his mouth, and some of the students which surrounded him snorted. " The thing is she's not blonde ".

  Her eyes when she looked over his way could kill.

   " Carroll's original book was thought so as the original Alice to be black-haired, like the girl the protagonist was based on. " She quickly stated. Oikawa's mind suddenly wakened up.

  " Funny fact, thanks " Other students smirked at his 'supposed' comeback, but he was truly thankful for the data. It was interesting, he had heard rumors about the creepy story behind Alice in Wonderland. 

  The teacher told her to sit down behind Oikawa Tooru, and she did as she was told. As discrete as he could, he smelled the air behind her. Vanilla? Sports cologne? It was a very relaxing scent and he liked it.  

  It wasn't that he was bad at studying, but if he actually wanted an scholarship, he needed to show he cared; but it was difficult to resist the urge to look into her direction. He felt Alice's eyes on his nape... Normally he could deal with people's stares BECAUSE HE WAS A STAR ON THE TEAM, a prodigy. But this time he felt something totally different to what he had felt before: _Why, why, why._

How can an emotion sweep you so easily...

_and turn you into ashes?_

* * *

  At some point of the year they talked.

  They exchanged mails.

  They texted each others every morning.

  They liked to be annoyed by the other... Who were they kidding, they liked each other.

  Oikawa was completely knocked out every time she talked with him. What was it, what was it, what WAS IT?! Every time they talked  _that_ close his body felt like pulling her into an embrace. It was damn annoying, because with hormones and teenager's stuff he had difficulties to stay focus on each match.

   But wait, he had to fake it. Like real good.

  " IWA-CHAAAN THAT WAS RUDE! "

  " Then START PAYING ATTENTION, STUPID-KAWA! " Even his teammates were with Oikawa for once; he had hit him real good. Even if he was distracted, how couldn't he be when there was his  _first crush_ looking? Hajime seemed to react and sighed. " Let's take a break. Five minutes, agree? "

  " Sure thing. "

  Some blurry memories, and they were suddenly outside talking.

  " I can go if I'm being a distraction, Tooru ".

  " You are not, just a bad day, Alice ".

  Partially true. Things at home weren't precisely calm.

  " I'm here for whatever you need, always. " That phrase. Hajime also used it, but when it got out from her lips... " I'm not texting you just to be polite, Tooru. I really like you ".

  After the break, Oikawa felt like he was a child again.

* * *

  They were eventually pushed to the other, but by other means... Alcohol. They were stupid sixteenth teenagers.

  There was that funny party at some rich dude's house, and of course he was invited. He tried to get Hajime accompany him, but instantly he regretted not asking her first. That could be their chance, there were very good vibes, and, why the hell not? Oikawa had been thinking about it all this time. 

   _I just want to bang really hard those hips._

It was just that.

  They met, and he actually offered her her first drink. They were underage, but what the hell, youth was for that kind of things, right? The parents of the boy must know about the party and stuff, geez. Alice was specially sexy, Oikawa knew she had an average body but with some makeup (which made her incredibly long eyelashes) and tight clothes... It was hard to not try anything.

  They two finished a bottle together of rum (was it with cola? Can't remember), and started to make out in one part of the house. Oikawa for first time felt... Really good.

  They were intoxicated.

  His hands caressed her hips as he invited her to sit on his lap.

  " Won't I weigh too much? " She asked with a hoarse voice.

  " What are you talking about? Geez, just kiss me ".

  She was... Unskilled. Alice was insecure in his arms... So he just had to embrace her in a stronger way, until she was completely safe.

  Little by little their tongues met, and they moaned. It felt great, she smelt good, she had a firm back, wide but perfect hips... Oikawa was going crazy. It was as if finally something crashed into his mind which shouted  _" this is what you need_ ". Constantly, over and over, he felt at ease... But there was no way he could demonstrate that, because something was devouring his insides. That same something took her butt into his hands.

 " You ass is amazing, like what the fuck, I'm walking with Hajime casually behind you " Some gasps; moans; kisses " And I can only stare at your booty, you have a perfect shape Alice ".

  " Can you shut up? " It was harsh, but when he opened his eyes, he saw a faint blush on her cheeks.

  Oikawa felt like telling her how gorgeous she was. But she wouldn't accept it, so he decided to massage her booty and elevate her with a slight spank on her left bubble. Her jeans were so tight that he could perfectly felt how round it was, how perfect everything in her was. He felt so close to her, so close, so loved with the way she looked at him. Alice's eyes were pure adoration; maybe she was a bit drunk, but... She really wanted it. She fucking wanted it, and it was such a turn on for Oikawa, because it meant she looked for him too.

 But in what way?

 " I love you ". She whispered. He heard.

  It felt like a dream.

  " I love you so much "

  He moaned in her mouth and unconsciously he repeated the same words.

  It came quickly like a flashback, something triggered in his mind which took all his breath away.

 

> **" I know, I know, but I don't care " She shouted. It was her voice, it was her face, but that weren't her clothes. They seemed to be in a medieval castle? It kind of remember him to the Tudor period; he was taking a look at it because it was damn interesti-**
> 
> **A shadow which almost knocks her out. It pushes her to the wall; how can someone be so rude and intimidating at the same time? It's only when he hears the voice of it, that he knows how is it.**
> 
> **" Let me take you. Let me have you _one more time_ " ** **A kiss which could melt hearts. He had felt that same heartbeat moments before, when he had been kissing her with all his might.**
> 
> **She gets to sit on the bed and with difficulty - because of the dress - she gets on top of him. They stare romantically at each other.**
> 
> **Once and once and once again they repeat the same word until it loses all sense.**
> 
> **" I love you "...**
> 
> **Only you.**
> 
> **Forever.**
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

Kuroda and Oikawa only seemed to get together whenever they drunk. In school things were rather awkward... Okay, she avoided him. Gradually he did the same. They rarely got together, and he started to break apart. 

( So did she, but no one ever asked ).

  In parties mainly, sometimes in the house of the other; they would go in silence or talking about school and trivial stuff until they make out and relieve themselves. Oikawa was the man who marked her, and although he had a lot of fire burns in his body because of all he had to go through, without doubt she was the most powerful of all of them. There was some kind of inevitable attraction which couldn't be stopped by anyone.

  It went quite good for some time for them. 

  Until his parents decided to finally divorce (her mother was with another man), and Alice's family moved to Tokyo.

* * *

  " But... Your aunt lives here. You can stay until you finish high school.... Right? ".

 " I tried to tell them. I really did Tooru, but they want me to finish my education there. They say I will have more possibilities... " Her voice was cracking but Oikawa's heart was ripping into pieces.

 He could just stay silent and so did she.

  " I can write you. "

  " I know, it's just... It won't be the same ".

  There was another small pause, and he could totally see her fixated eyes on the nearest random stuff that was around her, trying to determine if she should ask what she wanted to ask or just shut up. But as always, she opened her mouth:

  " Because of the physical relationship? "

  A hammer crushed his heart. Did she only cared about that? No, she also felt it. After all, Alice told him she loved him and only him,  ** _forever._** It couldn't have only developed into a friends with benefits thing... Right? Because Oikawa didn't feel like that, he wasn't searching comfort in her breasts or mouth - well, maybe a little, but just a 25% of him.

  " Because I will miss you ".  _I love you._

 Those words were way too hard for someone who has never really loved. He couldn't do it, not without seeing her face... But could he do it tomorrow? No. Maybe in a month? He wasn't prepared to love her. They were only sixteen, the only thing he could do was giving her fake promises, a fake hope. Anything else would be lying.

 " I will too ".

  She hang up. And next day neither of them talked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my tribute to Makoto Shinkai.  
> I know I may be doing something unforgivable, but I just had to relieve all of my angst.  
> And _5 Centimeters Per Second_ is the ultimate heavy anguish film for a hopeless romantic.


End file.
